This was written a few months ago, so please don't e-mail me telling
me that the Microsoft and Apple as campaigns took place months in the
past!
As you may or may not know, both Microsoft and Apple Macintosh have
recently launched new advertising campaigns. In Microsoft's they show you
images of lots of 6 year old Caucasians with huge eyes and old Asians
looking into the camera. While you are seeing these sickeningly cute
images in the background you hear supposedly awe-inspiring music and
subliminal messages (like "This stuff we make, it makes you powerful," and
"Gather up your ideas, we can't wait to see what you do"), and
occasionally, a glimpse of the Windows logo or some software. In the
Macintosh advertisements you see people trying to do various procedures
with a PC and failing because it is so complicated, and then going over to
a friend's house to do the procedure on a Mac. After giving some serious
thought to these commercials I began to plan the fantasy ad for the Amiga
in my head (it's obviously a fantasy, for when was the last time you saw
an Amiga ad period, let alone a good one?) Some sort of mix of the Mac
and Microsoft ads.
Yeah...that would be good...
The ad opens up with a man trying to save the world from total nuclear
destruction on his PC (not a game, it would be a real experience). He is
frustrated because the PC keeps saying:
Not ready error reading drive B Abort, Fail, Retry?
Abort, Retry, Fail?
He finally gets so frustrated that he calls a friend and asks him if
he can come over and use his Amiga to save the world. The friend is
hesitant, telling him that he IS in the middle of computer chess, but OK,
he can use his Amiga.
You see the man walk up to the door of his friend's house and walk in
with his friend. An image of the faces of a 6 year old girl with huge
eyes and an old man appear on the screen for now reason at all, although
it looks cute.
Suddenly a blinding light streams out from the room in front of the
camera. At the same time "Thus Spake Zarathustra" begins to play (you
know, the song from 2001!) the man walks into the light filled room and
sees the Amiga. (A bit like those cheesy Alien encounters on TV) The
music reaches a chreschendo and then switches from "Thus Came Zarathustra"
to Hendel's "Messiah." In the background you hear subliminal messages
telling you to buy 50 Amigas. The man sits down at the Amiga. He begins
to type away in an effort to save the world. His friend approaches him
and begins to use the mouse. The man says, "Excuse me, I'm trying to save
the world!"
"No problem," says the friend, "Amigas have had true multi-tasking
since 1986.
The friend is visibly impressed as he watches his friend render in
Lightwave as the computer works on stopping a nuclear missle countdown.
The man is so overjoyed that you see him buy an Amiga and throw his PC
out a window. We come back to him three years later, and his formerly
bald head now has hair on it, his teeth sparkle, and he lives in a
mansion.
The ad ends with the new Amiga logo and a slogan that says:
The Amiga: So Powerful it Will Grow Hair on Your Head
OK, maybe there are some slight "exaggerations" in the advertisement,
but really, the Amiga hasn't had an ad in America for so long that it
should be excused for a few fibs.
Besides, Microsoft has been fibbing for years, and nobody's noticed,
so why should it be any different for the Amiga?
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